Find someone, part 134

Text: "what's for dinner?"

Leftovers.

I arrive home 10 minutes later to you plopped on the couch dinner in hand, stuffing your face. 

Leftovers. 

And you could not wait for me for 10 lousy minutes.

How I am so insignificant to you?

On my way out the door, "Love you."

Why?

You say this every day.

Words.

But they are hollow. 

Completely and utterly hollow.

Like my heart.

Being alone: our tradition

I had surgery and you did not know.

You saw the bandage and didn't even ask until the next day when you made a stupid joke about it.

Since then? Not a single word.

Not a question about how I am feeling.

Not a question about next steps.

Not a question about appointments.

After 20 years you wanted a "tradition" of eating take-out. Fine. And then with a fridge full of food you eat my leftovers. Not a "hey would you mind if I ate your leftovers?" It sounds really stupid but I never eat your food.

Jokes not funny.

When I say there is a man sexually intimdating staff and members at work today and you respond, "Hey at least he didnt say Joey style 'how you doin'?" 

Are you kidding me? 

Not supportive.

Absolutely not funny.

Fuck off.

Find Someone, part 126

Who puts 6 dirty dishes on top of a dishwasher full of clean dishes and runs it. Every. NIGHT.

Trash on the counter from days ago.

Rug piled in the corner.

Boxes stacked in the way.

How lazy are you?

How hard is it to clean up after yourself?

I spend hours cleaning each week and you come in and trash up the joint.

Total disrespect. 

I'm exhausted. 

Just help already

I have been sick for a week, coughing, exhausted, and caring for my, also sick, father. I specifically wiped down the counter to reduce the spread of germs. I made a list of what needed to be done around the house. 

And this is what you did:

Mess.

Empty mustard container from 3 days ago. Spills on the counter. And now you are just lounging. You slept 12 hours last night and have spent the last 6 watching TV. I am exhausted and asked you to help me. And you can't be bothered. Glad you were able to at least get up to make yourself lunch.

Why is this so hard for you? Why can't you show me the smallest amount of consideration, courtesy, or respect?

Please just leave me already.

Go.

Message of the day

This! 👇

Find someone, part 103

Who has a 4 day weekend and does nothing. You head to work and come home to laying on the couch watching movies. No dinner prepped. No bbq started. No house cleaned.

Nothing.

But the usual, "what's for dinner?"

You go pick up a pizza and make sure you are first to get dinner. Your needs are always first. Always. 

Sleep on the floor because you don't want to sleep next to me. I get up to use the bathroom and you get back in bed. My cue to get up and start cleaning for the day.

I know my place. You make it very clear. 

Find someone, Part 98

Be sure to find someone who makes or finds a mess and leaves it for you. Not just once, but 100% of the time.

Such a lovely way to start the day.

Find someone, part 97

Who lies around from 5pm Friday until 5am Monday.  Who picks a movie that everyone has to watch, then spends then entire night on their phone. 

You don't speak to anyone. You don't engage. You eat and play on your phone, then go home early "since you have to work in the morning." 

You have literally laid on the couch for 48+ hours. 

Please just go.

Find someone, part 88

When you tell them you will be home late, but don't know when and they respond with, "do you want dinner?", you have a spark of hope. You say, "I may not be hungry."

And you get home at 7 to see they got themselves dinner and left nothing for you.

In all fairness you did say you may not be hungry. But why wouldn't you make sure there was at least SOMETHING  just in case your "beloved" is hungry? Why wouldn't you make the most basic level of effort? 

No.

Just make sure your own needs are met.

And God forbid you get off the couch and do anything.

Sadness all over again.

Too little, too late

It breaks my heart that nothing you can do will ever win me back. No amount of laundry, dishes, any of it, will ever be enough. What I needed was you to care about me, completely. 

And you didn't 

So we are done.

And that breaks my heart.

Find someone part 82

Gets their food first, then starts the movie before you have a chance to come into the room. And also spends the whole time on their phone.

Leaves mess for you to clean up. 

But somehow thinks kissing you and telling you "sweetly" they will see you at home, makes up for ignoring and disrespecting you.

I have allowed this behavior. But no more. I have an appointment with an attorney this week. I will make plans to keep myself and the dogs safe from you.

I have to get away.

Find someone part 74

Who always puts their needs first.

Home late from work? They stop and get themselves dinner plus lunch for the next day.

For you?

Nothing.

Salad for dinner they put the last dressing and toppings on.

For you?

Empty jars.

Thanks for nothing.

Literally.

Find someone who, part 62

When you are running late at work, sits on their ass watching TV until you come home  so you can make their dinner.

No effort. 

No help.

No tasks around the house. 

Nothing.

But I get to make dinner. 

Find someone who, part 49

Sitting discussing dinner from a local restaurant and you are too busy checking Twitter to be part of the conversation. 

This life with you is so painful I can hardly breathe.

Find someone who, part 35

Attends the same event as you but drives themselves, does not save or invite you to stand in line with them, is seated at the table next to you buy does not sit by you or pay your bill. Leaves first and does not walk you to your car or make sure you get home safe.  Then at home is awake and on their phone but does not acknowledge you. Then rolls over and goes to bed.

Leave. Me.

Please for the love of God.

Find someone who, part 28

Leaves raw chicken on the counter in the summer because turning around and putting it in the fridge is way, way, too difficult.

Just once

It would be appreciated if you actually cleaned up or lifted a finger. You drop trash and never pick it up. You leave food on the counter for days. You can't be bothered to lift a finger and help.

You laid on the couch for 4 days.

Just leave me already.

Please.

Go.

What? Dinner?

You lay on the couch u til 4pm and then have the nerve to ask me what's for dinner?!

How about you pack you bags and leave me alone. I am completely alone with you in this house  so it makes no difference to me if you actually leave.

You don't speak to me or acknowledge me, yet what's for dinner...

Find someone who

Is so self-absorbed they miss the smell of shit when they come home. And walk past the pile multiple times while making a tea. Acts surprised by the sight of it.

You ask them to pick it up and they do. But don't clean it up. Got to sit and check the phone.

Who always serves themselves first and turns the light off on you.

Truly. Find someone who really goes the extra mile for you.

Who does this?

Why leave 4 sheets on the roll?

How hard is it to put a new roll on?

I am so done with zero effort and utter laziness. Does this also count as disrespect?

50

It was my birthday.

And you did nothing.

Sadly, I am not surprised. I am not angry. I am not even disappointed. I prepared myself for the nothing and when it happened it just was like every other day.

Nothing.

Winco

I don't know why it hurts my heart so deeply that you take $80 out of checking each week and spend $30 on yourself at Winco and NEVER pick up anything for me or the household.

Toothpaste out? Oh well.

Sugar out? Too bad.

No butter? Bummer.

Just would be nice if just once you took care of me or spent some of the $100 on something other than yourself.

The end.

Divorce.

We are done.

I can no longer be part of this pain and suffering.

There is no love in this house.

There is no kindness.

No compassion.

No empathy.

No laughter.

No joy.

Nothing.

We are done.

Twitter claims

In your hashtag game you claim the ten things you love....

#1 your wife

#2 dogs

And I am going to stop right there. You ignore me. You literally ignore me. You tiptoe around. You lie on the couch. You do nothing to improve your life or our life and claim I am your "love". 

When I needed you the most you said I was not worth the effort. And 9 years later we are miserable. I dread being around you. There is everything to say and absolutely nothing to say. I can't do this anymore. It is suffocating. Heartbreaking. A pit of despair. 

This is not love.