Nothing says love..

Like 4 hours on your device. You can't even out it down long enough to eat the dinner I made for you.
PUT DOWN THE DAMN DEVICE!
Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with you??
Then you're so tired you go to bed...device in hand. But you cannot do the dishes, all 6 of them.  Too tired.
Oh and another thing...
If you are sick wash your hands, take some meds, do something.
When you use the bathroom... WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS! That is so absolutely disgusting. It's been months, if not years. Wash. Your. Hands. Basic hygiene. I am so disgusted.
Any wonder why our marriage is bleak, rather dead. No desire to be with some one who is dirty and cannot be bothered to even say two words to me. Gotta be on your FUCKING device.
I hope the two of you are happy.

Hold Me

Last night I came to bed later than usual, around 11pm. My usual routine is to read for a while, so I turned out the light at 11:45pm. No sooner had I settled under the covers, laying on my left side with my back to SLY, he reached over and draped his arm over me. What just happened? After nearly 4 1/2 years he reaches over and touches me. My body froze and my heart began racing. I felt nervous and anxious. It took quite a while for me to settle down and fall asleep.
I have always wanted to have someone sleep next to me like this, a simple draped arm.

Tonight while making dinner SLY says last night he had a dream he won the lottery and bought a new truck. He woke up and saw his arm on me. He started laughing. So I asked him if the arm was a "please can I keep it?" He laughed again and said he didnt know, was just surprised to have his arm on me. I told him apparently the only way he would sleep that way is if he wins the dream lottery.
And that was it.
I don't know what to think. Being touched makes me nauseous,  I have a negative physical response to touch. How did I get to this place? That is a post for another day.